A fork in the road :/

Lately I have been watching quite a bit of youtube vlogs, and I'm debating whether or not to switch this into a Dan Brownish  sort of vlog, where I discuss topics of varying seriousness, and maybe do some sort of other video type. So far I can't solve a rubix cube or some sort of epic stunt, so it will probably just have to be something dumb....like talking backwards while recording and then reversing the track while doing stunts that make me look like a ninja.  Here are my pros and cons so far...
:) People would rather watch a purdy video than read a bunch of words about 95% of the time.
:) Youtube is a pretty good location for vloggers. I am very knowledgeable of the Tubes and how to potentially have some sort of impact to someone somewhere in the universe!
:) I like editing videos. And coming up with catchy clever things to do.
:) Along with scripting, I could add a bit of improv here and there. If I'm just chillin in front of a webcam then I got this. No pressure to come up with immediate responses that would be necessary in face to face conversation.

: /It takes a lot of self-promotion and luck to get influential, regardless of what I do or where I'm located.

:( Society expects you to look your best when you are being viewed. Do I really want to spend 2 hours with hair and makeup just to sit in front of my computer for a few minutes?
:( Location. I don't live near anything fun to do. The likelihood that there will be a great youtube gathering anywhere remotely near me is insanely unlikely.
:( Noobiness? I haven't ever vlogged before. I would have to find a good editing software and mess with the lighting and sound and all that other crap.
:( I do not know if I will have enough ideas to be able to create a steady and remotely predictable production of videos. I tend to be random, which quite frankly does not fly in that sort of community.
:( I'm 14 for goodness sake! Do I have enough time to do all of this?

I want to know what you think I should do. Should I just stick to my random writings in a journal like fashion, or get into more stuff like my stance on art, movies, games, philosophy, and religion? Should I start making videos or stay here? Should I do both? Should I eat an entire package of mentos and guzzle down 2 cans of coke? LEMME KNOW KTHXBAI.

Annalyn is....popular?

Hey all! So the past couple days have been really amazing. I've met a lot of cool people on this website called omgpop.com. Basically, it's a bunch of minigames and a ton of chat room. If you beat this specific game in a set amount of time, you could have free voice chat for a month. Knowing me, I beat the game in like 2 hours. Probably less. Really easy. Anywho, I won this little fake American Idol competition on there, with like 5 people. Not impressive, I know, but still. I started getting more and more popular on voice chat, and now I have people regularly request me stuff. It's pretty cool! I was in this really relaxed music room with a couple of amazing guitarists and a guy who sang as well. He had a bunch of pictures on his profile of him performing on a few stages, and HE SAID HE WANTED TO MAKE MUSIC WITH ME!! Currently we're trying to figure out how exactly this would work out. Maybe he can play his songs on guitar and sing and we can do harmony? Maybe he plays and I sing? I'm not sure quite yet, but it was fantastic meeting him. I've gotten a lot more confident in my voice over the past few days.
By this point you're probably saying, "Gee, I want to know where I can hear her sing, or if she just thinks she can sing like a lot of dummies!". My first response would be that I am not tone deaf. Second, I would have to apologize. I have tried doing youtube videos, but most songs are too high or too low for me to do the karaoke versions of. Most songs I can't even sing all the way through. I'm just a shower singer, nothing more. Closest thing to music training would be singing solos when I was like 7 in church. Which was a while ago. My range/voice is pretty similar to Colbie Callait and Anna Nalick, though, with a sprinkling of Zooey Deschanel if I had to say. Two of my favorite songs to sing (Wreck of the Day and Consider This, both by Anna Nalick) do not have karaoke versions on youtube yet. I asked somebody to make me one or the other (he takes requests) but he still hasn't made one. Hopefully that can get me started.
Do you by any chance have an omgpop account? Do you have song requests or tips for me? Do you like waffles? Leave me a comment!

I seem to be making progress with my rats Braxton and Morris. Well, Braxton at least. We took a magical beach towel ride to one of our bathrooms and they explored. Braxton will almost always come up and want me to pet him whenever I go in my room. He also likes whenever I scritchen his ears when he's super sleepy in his hammock. Yes, my rats have multiple beds and hammocks. Nothing wrong with a little rodent luxury amiright? <3 Morris still doesn't like the idea of me. At all. He shrieks and cries sometimes when I carry him and he hates being touched. He'll turn around eventually. I will get pictures up later, seeing as my camera battery is dead and I don't know where the charger is, or how to upload pictures to my computer with it. All my other pictures are from my webcam. X_X

Good news! I can breathe. I'm taking this cough medicine stuff (hallelujah it is pills so it's not disgusting) and it's super effective!

Me and my dad (who have insanely similar tastes in music, though I branch off into 80's rock ballad and British metal a bit further than him, I believe) were discussing amazing concerts that he's been to. It was funny, because almost every one he named is one of my favorites! Breaking Benjamin, Metallica, Godsmack, Pearl Jam, etc. I'd LOVE to see Godsmack, Dot Dot Dot, or U2 live, and hopefully that will come true soon.

Elevation is probably my favorite U2 song. It's just so amazing! What concerts do you think I should see into going to?

Once again I got super bored so I drew this random heart thing. I was looking through Deviantart at some of my recommendations and got inspired to draw something. I really don't know what up with the whole veiny lookin parts...I wanted to do that over the entire heart but I thought it would conflict with the stitches, so I stopped it half way. Look how horrible the picture looks with my scanner (the above picture was taken with my webcam.)

Doesn't that look really bad? I hate my scanner. SO MUCH!

Well on another note, my secret plan has likely failed. See? I told you it's not good to get excited over nothing. My L4D2 crew in my basement may or may not need me for some game strategy of amazingness (until my connection goes out and then they won't invite me back into the game even after I ask nicely) *cough* *cough* but it's worth a shot. Maybe if I'm lucky one of my amazing stalker friends will be on. They're so amusing! I love stalkers.....
Farewell, my sweet walruses. May you never forget life's tulips, and always remember to eat delicious shrimp in your local clock tower while sniping innocent humans in their skull. (I know at least one person who reads that understands what I just said...) :D

Annalyn is....happy?

Today....actually hasn't been that bad. I've got a little glimmer of a smirk that I'm keeping tucked way down inside of me. Again, this is one of those things that I can't go into detail on quite yet. Not many things worse than expressing joy over something and then realizing that you were mistaken, and then the words that have been said can never be erased. Granted this is a blog, and I can say or "unsay" whatever I want to. I just don't want to get too excited over a potential blessing. Well, I'm off to go play Epic Battle Fantasy 3 and attempt to kick it's butt. Wish me luck?

Yogi Bear, and THe Muffs

I watched the Yogi Bear movie today, and I must say, it was pretty bad. Graphics were okay, but the story line was indesribably predictable. I knew exactly how the movie was going to end about 5-7 minutes in. I need something to shake off all of the numbness that's really starting to get to me lately.

This song is pretty cool. I really started paying attention to it a couple days ago, and it's super catchy.            

Annalyn ranting on her life, and the possibility of Asperger's

I consider this past week a victory. I look forward to my visit with the psychologist to discuss testing for Asperger Syndrome.

I have always known I was different. I would much rather organize a set of information or categorize things in intricate detail rather than use my imagination and play with dolls as a child. I remember I was captivated with collecting those small plastic animals, and organizing them in different ways. I would put them in a line of favorite to least favorite, most/least colorful, height, width, animal type, you name it. I would retype entire animal encyclopedia pages of information in Microsoft Word in a very repetitive and precise way for hours on end, thoroughly amused . I even tried to type the entire dictionary in my alternate language I created. Even now, I do latch hook (one of my favorite pastimes besides drawing/writing/music), and am chuggin along on a project in which I have to tie tens of thousands of knots on a large canvas. I never wanted to "pretend", "play house", or any other make-believe environment not totally controlled by me with lots of the other girls. I would be much more likely to do something very rule-based, or all alone than imaginative and collaborative.

I was always different in grade school. I took 6-8th grade spelling words in 1st grade, rather than learning all of the simple words like "candy", "mother", or "crazy". I don't have any recollection of learning basic spelling tricks, it's like I've always had them. I scored way higher than average on state testing, one of the few things that challenged me. I wasn't always the student with the highest grades, simply because I didn't feel challenged with most of the school work, so I wouldn't really try my best. I loved the competition aspect of school, and the constant need to be the best I could be. I never learned basic studying skills, because I never had to study.

I obviously have quite a bit of social anxiety.  Once the cliques started to form, i began to withdraw. I wanted all of the people I called "friend" in kindergarten to stay friends with me, regardless of silly things like how you look, what sport you play, or what kinds of hobbies you have. I didn't really fit in seamlessly with any of the stereotyped "groups", so I would hover from group to group in search of some common ground. Subconsciously taking this difference of interests as rejection, I began to withdraw even further. I kept (and still have) one very very close best friend, a few nice friends who had remotely similar interests, and a huge pot of people falling into a category that I didn't relate to, or feel welcomed by. Close enough to know their name, but certainly not close enough to invite to a social event, or anything like that. I would go to parties and sit by myself just watching people talk, and be okay with it. Sure, I felt alone, but I'd rather feel alone that have to exhaust myself trying to come up with small talk that makes me irrationally nervous and frantic.

I really enjoy watching other people interact. I'm not good at knowing when to add to a conversation, so I would take myself to a large group setting where I didn't feel the need to contribute on a regular basis. I was perfectly content watching other people talk. I could laugh at their jokes, hear the latest gossip, and develop a "strictly business" relationship with people, without having to have much in common with them personally. I remember writing page upon page upon page of songs, poems, and some basic philosophy to express myself. I could mimic the emotion of someone on paper without ever feeling that way. I recall writing a first-person poem about being a girl whose father died in a war. I, at that point, had never lost anyone close to me. I didn't know what it felt like, but I could imply how it must feel, and the pen met paper. I read it at a poetry reading, and got a perfect score. Perhaps they thought this was a story of my life. I certainly looked distraught, what with my quivering voice and my hands and knees shaking so bad behind that podium you'd think there was an earthquake.

I am also very numb to many feelings lots of teenage girls have. I don't get emotional about most things. In most categories I simply do not care which way the wind blows, so long as each way's outcome has the same positive or negative effect. The only time I really cry is when someone/thing dies or I am in excruciating pain. I'm good at masking my feelings in a passive way. If you say something that offends me, I almost certainly will not question you about it. If someone cut in front of me in line, I wouldn't say anything to them. I am good at shutting out frivolous annoyances, and seeing how purposeless lots of society is. When you ask someone "Hello! How are you?", how many times do you truly care what they say? How many times would you be willing to stay there and honestly listen to how they are doing? Whenever asked a small talk question like this, I almost certainly will say the quickest, easiest answer to get me out of the situation, regardless on the truth behind the statement.

In summary, I have always known I think differently than those around me. Perhaps that's why the solipsistic theories fascinated me so much. Though I certainly doubt this conclusion is accurate, it certainly described the way I felt at most times in my life. So with this blog post I hope to let you know that I am different, and I am proud of it. Though not tested, I am pretty sure I have this syndrome. I also want to let you know that I apologize if I ever made you feel awkward, because that is certainly not my intention. I am not mentally handicapped, just rewired differently than most people.