Dear Karma: You have the wrong person.

Woah, I forgot what the sunshine looked like. I've been cooped up in my bed for 2 days straight. Lots of fun! Not too long ago I went a little over a month like this. After I got out I had difficulties going up and down stairs! But losing your faith in healing is a good thing, or it is for me at least. I used to get so excited after the doctors would promise I'd be all better with the new medications, the new tests, the new procedures. Then I felt twice as bad when I realized the only thing at work was the Placebo effect. I know they mean well, but I've completely given up now. No point in even trying. Knowing everything is going downhill is a lot easier to comprehend than a hopeless rollercoaster of wasted money and crushed dreams of having a somewhat "normal" life. This brings me back to my constant craving of simplicity, and the monotony which trails behind it. Do I secretly enjoy the uniformity of being confined and restricted? If this is the case, why do I enjoy torturing myself? Dear Karma: You have the wrong person.