So, this is my life.

I've not really had that exciting of a life. I live in a small town, with not a lot of stuff to do. I am homeschooled (for now) due to EXTREMELY irritating complications with coordinating my life around "IBS". IBS is a rather annoying syndrome I am supposedly suffering from, though I house practically none of the symptoms. Crazy, right? Well I'm not gonna go into detail, but basically I will get very intense pain in my gut at random times of the day. Sometimes it lasts for days on end. I once missed an ENTIRE month of school because I couldn't hardly get out of bed.
I have very few good friends, but I'm stuck to them like hair to a staticky (it didn't look right to me without a k) television screen. I have a million different personalities, and I feel like a chameleon most of the time. I suppose being a poser is better than being a loser. I guess I have such a wide array of personas because I really don't know who I am. One thing I do know is that I never want to become a lifeless robot conformed into pop culture and becoming perfect. Mama like to mix it up a little! It pains me to see all these people controlled by their obsession with self-image, and what desperate measures they are willing to go to to look like the beautiful girls on the cover of those trashy check-out counter magazines.
Okay, so basically I've gone off on a rant off-topic. My English teacher would be so ashamed that I like the conversations that start with "What did you think of the new Metallica album?" and end with "And that, my friend, is why you NEVER put your pet rat on the desk in your computer room." So, since I have wandered so terribly far, I will repost a little thing I came up with and put on my Facebook not too long ago.

Monotony-The one thing I fear, yet it is the one thing I know the best.
I am more than just a test score
I am stubborn and fragile
I am content but unsatisfied
I am looking forward to a future but not ready to let go of the past
I can forgive but will never forget
I am happy, but in pain
I quite honestly don't care if you think I am insane, you're just reinforcing my opinion that I see things in a different way than most people
I wish that man had never discovered the conveniencies (if that's not a word, it is now) of technology, because nature's beauty can never be recreated or properly replaced by man's clever inventions. We are not, nor can we ever compare to God. <<EDIT See? I told you I make up words all the time.>>
I want to know that God is really there, looking out for me
I have a weak, unsure faith, yet I will defend Him like a warrior of religion
I am silent, yet filled with hate.
The word "love" means NOTHING in today's society. It is overused, uncredited, and doesn't mean what it used to. Love is much deeper than what it "means" today.
I feel as if the world we live in will be over very, very soon
I will NEVER dare let a curse word exit my lips, for such talk will never uplift, encourage, inspire, or positively influence another being. ever.
Cursing brings so much hurt to me, I cannot stand being it
I am hypocritical and paranoid
I embrace pain, as it gives me a new perspective on my life
I criticize, but hate to be criticized
I honestly do think that I have a mental disability of some sort
I see past the frivolous nature of the world, because in the end the image you portray doesn't really make a difference
Just because there is a smile on my face doesn't mean I am happy
There are only 3 people in the world who truly understand my ways of pure insanity: me, my best friend, and God.
I am longing for a new revolution, where your race or gender doesn't mean a thing, where we can get along peacefully, where the heartbreak of this world is duller, where I can be flawed and still appreciated, where my opinions, ideas, and judgements are not discredited because of my gender or age, and I can take courage in knowing that the word "equality" actually has true meaning to me, and every living being on the planet.
I'll let this settle for a bit while I come up with some inspiration for another post. Later everyone.